I am afraid. Very afraid.
I am going away for the weekend. Sounds good huh? Sounds - maybe even...fun? No?
Did I mention that I am going away with my in-laws? Did I mention that they intensely, scarily dislike me? Did I mention that we are staying in the SAME HOUSE? Did I mention that I am terrified? Did I mention that my crazy money-obsessed sister in law is going too?
PRAY FOR ME. I am truly terrified. And I have decided to wear a strapless dress to the formal wedding that we are attending - something that they are sure to have an opinion on. My mother-in-law dresses like a man - she is wearing a black suit, and my sister in law is a size 300 and tried to get me to wear one of her old dresses. Very generous - but I'm a size 10!
For my brother in laws wedding I wore an excellent top - made by Cue ( it cost $115 and it was very 'smart' if I do say so myself!) that my mother in law spent the night tugging up. I kid you not. She actually came up to me and hoiked it up. Now you may assume that it was low cut or something - it wasn't! Truly! I've worn it to uni since - and it's actually quite modest! The shock of her actions rendered me useless. To my eternal regret I didn't slap her hands away!
Anyway if I disappear - never to be heard from again - will you alert the authorities???
How on earth am I going to sneak out of the house to get my hair done before the wedding? My husband, totally oblivious to it all - says just go! BUT IT DOESN"T WORK LIKE THAT!!!
Not with them. Not with them! I may have to climb out a window.
If I haven't posted after this weekend please alert the authorities! It means I've offended them (again) by wearing lipstick or something...
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2 comments:
You had me at the title, but then to read that it involved kooky in-laws - SOLD !
We should compare, mine are waaaay out there too.
I really like your blog, made me giggle at this 10'o'clock hour. The kids finally in bed asleep and me w/ time to take a full deep breath before finishing the laundry and preparing for bed.
Good Luck on you trip, I'll check back to see if you make it home....
Speaking of creepy and kooky...is "Frankenstein" really one of your favorite books. I love the original movie, but I've never tried the book. I also love Dracula but I've failed in every attempt to get through Bram Stoker's book.
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