My Brilliant Solution

Happy new year to you.
Like many many people my new years resolution has been to get fitter. I went to the gym today and am determined to do it (this time). No, really I am. Hey - I'm 30, if I don't do it now when am I?
So I haven't posted for a few days - I've been taking the kids to swimming lessons. Hurray - so much fun! Forget Christmas being the 'most wonderful time of the year'.
For me there is nothing better than sitting under a tree in the hot hot sun watching them splash around and have a great time - school holidays, lots of fruit (which I hate every other time) and fun. Doesn't get any better... but one thing I did ponder as I was sitting under aforementioned tree, is the fact that I - size 10 (alright 12)- agonised in front of the mirror before I came out - 'is my bathing suit appropriate?' A tiny bit of baby belly flesh could be seen between my bather top and board shorts and I really stressed over it - didn't want to gross anyone out y'know?
But I needn't have bothered. It seems that every size 30 woman was at the pools yesterday. And they were really letting it all hang out. Now don't get me wrong - if you're big, I don't condemn you to a lifetime of bathers with skirts, BUT these women were shameless. You'd have had to have been there to believe it.
It seems to be a common thing around here - women of a 'certain age' (ahem) wearing clothes designed for teenagers. Only last week, my hubby and I saw a grandmother type wearing a crop top - it's JUST WRONG!
Hubby favours the introduction of the fashion police - but I have a better idea:
AGE LABELS ON CLOTHES -AND SIZE LIMITS.
Brilliant huh?
SO, here's an example of what I propose - Daisy Duke shorts do not go above a size 12 (if you are a size 14 and are offended - tough! I will break it to you -these are not for you!) Also, anyone over the age of 35 needs a special 'permit' to buy them. I'm thinking specifically of Nicolette Sheridan here - she'd get the green light to buy them, because although she's in her 40s she'd still look great but she is the EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
Same goes with lycra bike pants. It should be forbidden to make these in big sizes!
This would be so great. I'm getting really excited here - Trinny and Susannah eat your heart out.
Bikinis should come on a permit system. After having children they should be outlawed - unless you are one of those amazing amazing blessed women who do not get tummy sag!
As for men's speedos - ban them ban them I say -unless you can prove that you are infact an Olympic swimmer. Penalties for manufacturers I say.
Who's with me?